First Time Author Jokes

 

Preparing this post (Is There a Book Inside Me?) prompted me to consider the current state of First Time Author jokes. A quick Google search revealed that while there are many jokes about authors and writing, there are no pages dedicated to jokes about first-time authors. I see this as a monumental wrong that needs to be righted¹⁾I did not intend this to be a political statement so if you choose, feel free to see this as a monumental wrong that needs to be lefted..

First-time authors labor in obscurity, and this is generally as it should be. Still, I hope that by offering a sample of first-time author jokes I can shine a light on at least one first-time author – me.

 

If you have a first-time author joke to add to this list, leave a reply below and include a website to give appropriate credit

 

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[from the previous post]

How many First-Time Authors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Buy my book and you will find out.

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Knock. Knock.

 – Who’s there?

First Time Author. … First-Time Author … I said, “First-Time Author” … Don’t you want to know who I am?

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Knock. Knock.

– Who’s there?

First-Time Author.

– First Time Author Who?

A First-Time Author with the wit of Douglas Adams, the magical appeal of J.K. Rowling, a touch of Stephen King’s suspense, the romance of Nora Roberts, and the popular appeal of James Patterson.

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How many First-Time Authors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

While he was new to the publishing game, Jake had accumulated a lifetime of experience that made him the person best suited to screw in a light bulb. As a former SEAL, NYC detective, DEA undercover operative, and adjunct professor of Antiquities and Electrical Engineering, he had seen it all. He ran his lightly-scarred, well-muscled and sun-bronzed hand through the blonde hair he kept short while still allowing for a hint of curl at the ends…

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Knock. Knock.

– Who’s there?

First Time Author.

– First Time Author Who?

Can I do a book signing,  poetry reading, talk at your book club,  wash your car?

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