Welcome to a Post-Rapture World

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but the Rapture occurred yesterday at 2:30 PM Eastern Time (US). Yeah, that means neither of us made it. 

If you were wondering why it occurred at that precise time, I could share the calculations but you would not understand them, so just take my word for it. There are a lot of threes, sevens, and other special numbers in there to make it come out right. I completed my numerological work yesterday at 3:05 PM and ran outside to find that there were no empty piles of clothing in the streets. Just people.

Don’t feel too bad, however. From what I can tell, no one was Raptured from any of the media outlets, either conservative, liberal, or any other flavor for that matter. Not a single politician from any party was among the select few. No one with a Twitter following greater than 1,000 and no one with a Twitter following of less than or equal to 1,000.

Every person who voted for their favorite candidate in the last election is still here. Every person who held their nose while they voted is still here along with everyone who did not cast a ballot. We can still see all the A-list celebrities are on this planet. The B, C, D listers are here too along with all of the any-list-will-do wannabes.


The Rapture has been feared by many and anticipated by some for years. It turns out that it came, went and was basically a non-event.

Do not be too disappointed that you were not plucked out from the masses. If you are left wondering what it all means, I am here to provide some guidance through this post-rapture world. I have already started on a book series covering yesterday’s Rapture and subsequent events. The series will be titled Left Back – Eternity As Summer School.

My only concern is that I might have already revealed too much of the plot.




1 thought on “Welcome to a Post-Rapture World

  1. Brian Merrill Reply

    Thanks for using my photo. I enjoyed the article, although feel bad that I was also left behind. Maybe next time. I’m sure there’s another rapture coming along any day now.

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